Unwanted to Unforgettable (Ruth’s Story): Nana Dolce

Nana: “How do I submit?” “How do I parent?” “How do I love the people at my church?” [Laughter] They are wonderful people, but it’s not always easy. There are always opportunities every day before us—as wives, as singles, as parents, as church members—to do right in God’s eyes, in how we trust Him in loving people when it is hard.

Shelby: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I’m Shelby Abbott, and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson. You can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com.

Ann: This is FamilyLife Today.

Ann: We’ve had some really fun days with Nana Dolce as we’ve been talking about her book, The Seed of the Woman. This is 30 narratives, that point to Jesus, of women in the Bible.

Dave: We have gone deep.

Ann: We have gone deep with Esther—

Dave: —and we’re going to go deep again.

Ann: —with Naomi. We’re so excited, Nana, because you bring the Bible to life. And you’re bringing us these nuggets of gold that, maybe, we haven’t caught before as we’ve read the Scripture and these familiar stories. You’re bringing not only these nuggets of gold, but application of what this can look like in our lives.

Nana is a mom; she’s a home-schooling mom with three children and one on the way. She’s been married 15 years. She’s a Bible teacher, and she’s an author.

But today, we’re going to look at the story of Ruth. We’ve already been taking about Naomi yesterday. Let’s drop us back into this story of Ruth and Naomi.

Nana: Sure. We already know the setting: the time of the Judges, this famine; this family goes to Moab. One of the sons of Naomi marries this lady named Ruth.

One are the things, in our earlier conversation, I mentioned this word, “context.”

Ann: Yes.

Nana: Oh, that brings out so much richness. We all know that Ruth is a Moabite; we know she’s not an Israelite; she’s a foreign woman. But I wonder if we’ve ever thought about who the Moabites were and how it plays out in this story? The Moabites came out of Lot and his daughters. It’s a scandalous story in Genesis 19.

Ann: It’s a creepy story.

Nana: It’s a creepy story, where this man, Lot—God destroys Sodom and Gomorrah—he flees to the mountains. He has these two daughters, who decide, “We need to preserve seed for our faither.”

Ann: And his wife had died.

Nana: His wife had died, so it was just he and his two daughters in a cave. The eldest decides, “Let’s make Daddy drink, and we will go in and lay with our father and conceive through our father.” They do it. The first daughter gives birth to a son, and she names him Moab. Ruth’s people come out of this history of incest. Not only do they have this scandalous incest in their history, but the women—the Moabite women—were known to be those who seduced Israelite men.

Ann: Oh, I didn’t know that.

Nana: Yes, this happened in Numbers 25. After the Exodus, Moses and the Israelites are in the desert. The Moabite women come to seduce these men. The men fall for it! They go with these women; they are lying with them; they are worshiping Ba’al. God strikes the men with a plague and thousands of them die. It’s at that point that God says, “No Moabite will enter My assembly.” This is who they are.

Ann: This is who Ruth is.

Nana: And this is who Mahlon marries.

Ann: Yes!

Nana: So, Ruth was supposed to be a woman who led her husband away from God, right? What we see is that she’s actually a woman who is attracted to God herself. She follows her mother-in-law back to Bethlehem. She will display God’s loving kindness in caring for this mother-in-law. We talked a little bit about that yesterday; how she endangers herself and goes into the field, but even her footsteps are ordained, because they come to the field of Boaz.

Boaz is such an incredible man. Sometimes, we focus on Ruth and Naomi, which is good, but we don’t always focus on Boaz very much.

Ann: What a good man.

Nana: I want to do that a little bit.

Ann: Yes, take us there.

Nana: Most of Chapter 2 is Boaz filling Ruth. We talked about the emptiness in

Chapter 1 yesterday. Chapter 2: all the filling going on is really Boaz. Ruth is in his field. She is gleaning, which is basically poor people in the community that would pick up the grain on the outskirts of the field. Whatever they took home, they took home.

He allows Ruth to do that and, then, more. He says, “Hey, don’t limit her to just the periphery. Let her come in where the sheaves of grain are and let her glean over there.” When it’s time for them to eat, he invites her over, and he feeds her some of the meal that he has for his workers. He says, “Hey, drink water.” [He] makes her sit where the shade is. But then, he also fills her with words of encouragement. He says, “I’ve heard what you’ve done, how you have come to take refuge under the wings of the God of Israel. God will bless you.”

He is filling her with words; he’s filling her with food; he’s filling her with protection. He tells his men not to touch her, which tells you they may have touched her; something could have happened, but he protects her. There is a passage in Ephesians that calls men—specifically, husbands—to love their wives like Christ loves His church. Boaz is not married to her at this point; and yet, I see him resembling what husbands are called to do. The Ephesians passage is Ephesians 5:29, that says that men are “to nourish and cherish”—nourish and cherish—"just as Christ does His church”—your wives.

Boaz is nourishing her with words of affirmation, with food, with protection; and he is cherishing her. To cherish someone is to care for them in a loving way, to protect them in a loving way. He is such an example of that.

Ann: How old do you think he was? What do you think their age difference was?

Nana: Oh! Thank you for asking that question, because he keeps calling her “daughter.”

Ann: Right.

Nana: He had to have been older than her. When Naomi sends her—we talked about Naomi sending her to him in the threshing floor, he blesses Ruth and says, “You didn’t go after young men. You didn’t go after the young men”—which tells me he was probably older. He was an older man. The Scripture doesn’t say how old he was, but we have indications that he was probably older than her.

Our culture often talks about men being patriarchal in the church. Of course, we know that there is definitely evidence of abuse that women have been abused in the church. I wonder what the culture would say if there were more men who looked like Boaz among us, who saw vulnerable young women, and without even any intention, Boaz doesn’t go after Ruth—it’s Naomi who says, “I want you to go and make it clear to him that we need redemption.” He doesn’t do that [going after Ruth]. All he’s doing is nourishing and cherishing, protecting, providing; filling her with words of encouragement, with provision. She never goes back to her mother-in-law empty-handed because of Boaz.

Dave: What do we know about Boaz in terms of why he was such a good man?

Nana: The Scriptures call him “a worthy man.” We’ll learn, later, that there was another redeemer, actually. There was a man who was ahead in the line, in front of Boaz, who really had the first responsibility to redeem and to care for Naomi and for Ruth. When this man is presented with the opportunity, he actually thinks of himself: “My own property might be endangered if I take this woman;” and he doesn’t do it, but Boaz does.

Ann: Take us to the point where Naomi has told Ruth how to approach Boaz and what that looks like—

Nana: —yes, yes—

Ann: —because it seems like it is this weird, strange, kind of complicated situation that, in the [culture] in our day, it doesn’t make sense. So, walk us through that as she lays at his feet.

Nana: Absolutely, as she lays at his feet.

Ann: Yes.

Nana: Thank you for asking that question. It makes me excited to answer it! [Laughter] Because, again, I think it takes us back to that story of Lot and his daughters. Remember, he’s been calling her “daughter” all along. He has now eaten, and he is full of wine, and this is a Moabite woman. It looks a lot like that scene.

Ann: Yes.

Nana: You think, “Oh! Are they going to repeat that sin?”—the seduction of the Moabite women in the desert—“Is that what we’re going to see? Will Boaz and Ruth prove to be a worthy man and a worthy woman, or will they look like their ancestors?” What we find is that he doesn’t touch her. He says, “Lay here.” She says, “I want—you’re a redeemer, so please redeem us.”

Ann: But why did she go to his feet and lay at his feet? He’s sleeping?

Nana: Yes, he’s sleeping, and she uncovers his feet.

Ann: She uncovers his feet.

Nana: Yes, she uncovers his feet and says, “Cover me, and protect me and redeem me.”

It’s a good question. I have to say, I’m stumped by that one, Dave. My Bible expertise ends right there. [Laughter] I’m not actually sure why she uncovers his feet.

Ann: Okay.

Nana: But whatever it means, he understands it to be: “We need redemption. We need redemption.”

Ann: Yes.

Nana: But nothing happens, sexually, on the threshing floor.

Ann: It’s very pure.

Nana: It’s not a repeat of Lot and his daughter; it’s not a repeat of the Moabites and the Israelite men in the wilderness. We see a worthy man and a worthy woman. He chooses to do it the right way. He says, “Wait. In the morning, I will go before the elders. If I can redeem you, I will redeem you.”

Dave: I mean, in some ways, another example of your past mistakes—or even your family’s past mistakes and sins—do not define you.

Nana: Absolutely.

Dave: Often, we think they do. It’s like, “Well, this is where I come from, and I’m a victim. I’m just going to continue that.” No, the sins of the father can stop if you choose. And he chose—

Nana: —yes, yes!

Dave: —to be a good man, and to say, “This sin ends here. I’m not going to continue that.”

Ann: I’m sure there was that temptation, as well, to follow into the pattern of sin.

Nana: Sure.

Ann: But they didn’t. I just love their hearts; I love his heart. And I’m sure, too, for Ruth, she wanted to honor Naomi, her mother-in-law. She didn’t want to bring shame upon their family.

Nana: Absolutely.

Ann: So, she was trusting God, loving Naomi; it’s such a beautiful picture of purity as we keep our eyes on Jesus and follow Him.

Nana: It is, it is. In the days of the judges—

Ann: —yes!

Nana: —when everyone was “doing right in their own eyes.”

Ann: That’s good!

Nana: This Moabite woman and this man chose to do what was right in God’s eyes.

Ann: Alright, keep going.

Nana: Yes. Well, we’re almost at the end of our story.

Ann: I know!

Nana: Because he will marry Ruth. She had been married to Mahlon for ten years and had never had a child. But God opens her womb, and she gives birth to a little boy named Obed.

I love the way the book of Ruth ends, because it ends with Obed’s genealogy. It starts with Perez, actually. It says that the generations of Perez. You may ask, “Well, who was Perez?” Perez was the son of a lady named Tamar, all the way back in Genesis 38. She’s one of the women in The Seed of the Woman book. She, too, was a foreign woman. She was a foreign woman who was looking for this redeemer. She wanted this Levirate marriage, because her husbands—she had two husbands who died; her father-in-law was Judah. He refused to do what was right by her, so she dressed as a prostitute and became pregnant with twins, and one of them was Perez.

Perez reminds us of this woman, Tamar, and, then, it mentions this man named Salmon, who is the son of Rahab.

Ann: Yes!

Nana: Remember Rahab?

Ann: —the prostitute—

Nana: —the prostitute—

Ann: —at the walls of Jericho.

Nana: —at the walls of Jericho.

And then, it comes all the way down to Ruth’s son, Obed, and then, ends with David. The book of Ruth ends how the book of Matthew will begin.

Ann: Whew!

Nana: Matthew begins with the genealogy of the seed of the woman, the King, Jesus. In His lineage, you find Tamar, who dressed as a prostitute, Rahab, who was formerly a prostitute; you have Ruth, this Moabite woman with this history of incest within her family line. Jesus was pleased to be born into such a family, because He is the ultimate Redeemer, better than Boaz. We’ve said a lot about Boaz. Jesus is even better than Boaz! He was pleased to be born into a family that had all of the scandal.

That encourages me, because I have some scandals. I could tell you about some people in my family. [Laughter] They would fit right in with this narrative! It encourages me that this Redeemer came for me, and that I [am not] disqualified because of my family history.

Ann: That was my word, too. We feel so disqualified, whether our past—what we’ve done, or maybe what’s been done to us; and we are never disqualified. There are so many things that we feel like could disqualify us. Nothing! Look at these women in the Bible! And yet, God used them in the line of Christ. That’s so encouraging to me.

Nana: Yes!

Ann: It doesn’t matter what’s been done or what happened in our past, because He renews all things.

Nana: Yes.

Ann: It’s so good.

Dave: It’s such an inspiration, because you think, “I am what I came from.”

Ann: Yes.

Dave: Or “I am what I have done wrong in my past, and it sticks with me forever.” This story, and even the lineage of Jesus, [says]: “How in the world does the holy Redeemer God come through filthy rags?” I’m not saying these people, but the story. You just don’t expect that!

Nana: Yes.

Dave: It is the gospel.

Ann: It is. [Laughter]

Dave: It needs to be shouted from the mountain tops: “You are worthy, regardless of your family’s past or even your past. He can be your Redeemer.” And He is. Is that what you get out of Ruth?

Nana: Yes, it is. He came to redeem, as far as the curse is found. He came to redeem all of it. It’s amazing! If I were sending my son, it would be—you would choose the pristine, right?

Dave: Yes.

Nana: This is who God sent His son through, because this is who Jesus came to save.

Ann: That makes me think of just some of our feelings of who our kids may be dating because of a past. I understand that, as a parent. We want our kids to marry women or men who walk with Jesus and love Jesus. For me, that’s the prerequisite. More than anything else, that is it.

Nana: Yes.

Ann: When they follow Jesus, and they’re pursuing somebody who is as well, God redeems all those things in our past.

Nana: Yes, He does.

Dave: I know that, when Ann and I got married 44 years ago, there was a part of me that wasn’t sure I could break the curse of the Wilson alcohol, adultery, divorce.

I knew God was bigger than all of that, but there was also a part of me that, as a young man, was afraid: “Will I continue? Will I be able?” You know what I mean?

There were two things going on: one was the fear and almost the victim part; the other was: “Yes! I will!” But there was that—almost like: “Is there a chain on my leg that I can’t break?” The only thing that broke that was not me; it was Jesus. He literally broke it. He’s a chain breaker.

Nana: Yes!

Ann: That’s good; that’s good.

Dave: I could write a song about it, but He’s the—

Ann: —I think there is a chain-breaker song.

Dave: He is the chain breaker, and you can be the one who’s sort of the kinsman redeemer in your family legacy. If it’s a bad one,—

Nana: —yes, yes.

Ann: —that’s good.

Dave: —you change it; if it’s a good one, you continue it. It’s on us to say, “I will be used by God to do this.”

Ann: Nana, do you have any other application?

Nana: I do.

Ann: Good.

Nana: The last one for me is: “He comes to redeem, and then, He empowers you by His Spirit.” In the days when everyone is doing right in their own eyes, God can help us, through His Son, by the empowerment of His Spirit, to do right in His eyes.

Ann: That’s good.

Nana: Yes, these are days of the judges. Let’s be worthy men and women who do right in God’s eyes, because He gives us His Spirit and empowers us to do that.

Ann: Let’s go into specifics.

Dave: I was just going to say, “Are there ways you think we are living in the days of the judges?”

Nana: Yes!

Dave: It sure seems like it.

Nana: In the time when it says, “There was no king,” there’s a King; but we’re not summitted to the King, and so, we’re living by our own wisdom and doing right in our own eyes. But by His grace, I want to be like Ruth. I want to be a worthy woman—with all the history of my family stuff [Laughter], I want to be a worthy woman who is doing right in God’s eyes.

Ann: Let’s go super practical: “How do we do that?” Let’s say a listener is thinking, “I want this. I want that. I have all these things in my past and my family’s past. What does it look like to do right with God? How do you grow as a believer?”

Nana: Yes, yes; you grow as a believer through His Word. Even in parenting, there’s a lot of fear that I have for my children, based on the way that I was raised. I want them to do right in my eyes, right? In Nana’s eyes [Laughter]—making them little idols—they are always at church; they are ministry kids. Especially, ministry kids—oh, people will talk about them if they act in a certain way; so, I could use the fear of man to drive my children to be moralists.

My prayer is that I would do right in God’s eyes by helping them to see: “You are a sinner. You’re not going to do it perfectly. There will be days when you will fall, but that’s why we all need Jesus. Because guess what? Mommy’s like that, too. [Laughter]  We are all, in this house, depending on Him. Let’s do it together as a family.” I think that’s one way we can do right in God’s eyes, even in parenting.

Ann: That’s good.

Nana: We can apply that to our marriage as well. I’ve been bragging on this husband of mine.

Ann: Yes, I can’t wait!

Nana: He doesn’t always do right, though, you guys! [Laughter] And there are days when it can be scary to submit to a man who, as wonderful as he is, I see the faults. But when I trust myself, ultimately, to God Himself, and say, “I know that You are wiser than me.” Of course, letting my thoughts be known to him, but if he really is certain how we’ll move, I’ll move; I’ll move with him, because “I want to do right in Your eyes.”

“How do I submit?” “How do I parent?” “How do I love the people at my church?” [Laughter] They are wonderful people, but it’s not always easy. There are always opportunities, every day, before us—as wives, as singles, as parents, as church members—to do right in God’s eyes in how we trust Him in loving people when it is hard.

Ann: I’m really inspired by your church—and your church family—of the other women (the older women) who are surrounding you.

Nana: Yes!

Ann: You’ve already talked about how you’re mentoring younger women than you are and discipling them in the Word.

Nana: Yes.

Ann: So, you have women in front of you, beside you, and behind you, who are continually growing you, challenging you, and causing you to keep your eyes on Jesus.

Nana: I do.

Ann: Do you think that’s marked you and made a difference?

Nana: Oh, it has! It has. These are women who have suffered, too. We’re not talking about little stories.

Ann: Yes.

Nana: A good [example]—she calls herself my godmother; she was there at the birth of my two biological children. She’s going to be there at the birth of this baby as well. Her son was shot in front of her house.

Ann: Ugh!

Nana: She’s suffered in ways that I can’t even imagine. She is full of encouragement; full of God’s Word. She’s such a servant. She has a grief ministry at our church, where anyone who loses someone, she will send a card. She has a ministry where they’ll come alongside that person and walk them through the stages of grief. These are the women before me.

Ann: Whew!

Dave: How old is she?

Nana: These are the Naomi’s before me. She’s in her 70s.

Ann: Talk to the women who are listening right now who think, “I have nobody. I don’t know—I’m all alone.” How would you encourage them?

Nana: Oh, I will encourage you to plug into a local church that sees itself as a family. The Lord has not left us as orphans. We are united, and He gives us each other. Is it always easy? No, it’s not, [Laughter] because we’re sinners. It can actually be very scary to make yourself available to other people.

I’ve been hinting at the kind of family that I came from, which was scary. It makes me, sometimes, want to hide in a cave a little bit. It takes me a while to really trust and open myself up to people, but it’s worth it. It’s worth taking the risk to say: “I’m willing for you to get to know me, and I’m willing to be honest that I’m lonely, and I’m willing to be honest that I need a friend, and I need someone to call on.” It can be scary to do it, but it’s worth doing it. It’s worth doing it.

Dave: That’s a good word.

Ann: And we’re excited for you, as listeners, that you can be a part of this email series that we’re doing. I really love just this final thought from Nana’s book, where you say, Nana: “You can trust and obey Jesus in a world where God’s promises often feel distant and elusive.” So, we can trust that great God, and we hope you’ll join us on this email series.

Shelby: I’m Shelby Abbott, and you’ve been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson with Nana Dolce on FamilyLife Today. That’s right: you can sign up for that email series by heading over to FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can find it in our show notes section.

Nana Dolce has written a book called The Seed of The Woman: 30 Narratives that Point to Jesus. This book talks about the profound role of women in shaping the redemptive history that we find in the Bible and finding, really, your place in the unfolding story of Jesus Christ.

This book is going to be our gift to you when you give to FamilyLife Today. You can get your copy right now, with any donation that you make, by going online to FamilyLifeToday.com and clicking on the “Donate Now” button at the top of the page. Or you can just give us a call with your donation at 800-358-6329; again, that number is 800-“F” as in family, “L” as in life, and then the word, “TODAY.” And feel free to drop your donation in the mail if you’d like. Our address is: FamilyLife, 100 Lake Hart Drive, Orlando, FL 32832.

Now, coming up tomorrow, Nana Dolce is back for our fifth and final day with her husband, Eric. They’re going to share their unique story of dealing with infertility, foster care, and adopting an embryo. That’s coming up tomorrow. We hope you’ll join us.

On behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I’m Shelby Abbott. We will see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today.

FamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife^®, a Cru^® Ministry.

Helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.

We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you’ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs? 

Copyright ^© 2024 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.

www.FamilyLife                                

1