Can’t Stop Worrying: Brant Hansen

Episode Transcript

FamilyLife Today® National Radio Version (time edited) Transcript

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Can’t Stop Worrying

Guest:Brant Hansen

From the series:Life is Hard. God is Good. Let’s Dance. (Day 2 of 3)

Air date:April 16, 2024

Brant: When we, as believers, try to be His apprentices—try to be Jesus’s followers—we learn His ways. We become peacemakers; we become agents of His Kingdom here. His Kingdom is beautiful.

Shelby: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I’m Shelby Abbott, and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson. You can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com.

Ann: This is FamilyLife Today!

Dave: Alright, we have Brant Hansen back in the studio. Here’s what I thought about yesterday, when we were talking about—actually, I was listening to you two, you and Ann, talk about—worry and joy. Do they mix?

Brant: No.

Dave: They really don’t. I had this thought, because, Brant, you said, “Meditate, think about, things you’re grateful for.” I’ll never forget this moment when money was tight. I was outside of Walmart® waiting for Ann. She’s in there shopping.

Ann: We’re just back in Michigan for a few days, but we’re celebrating a birthday.

Dave: Oh, yes! It was a birthday.

Ann: Yes.

Dave: It took so long, I finally go in. I see her in line, and think, “Okay, there are a lot of people here.” I go back to my car. Finally, she comes out, and I say, “What is going on?”

She said, “Well, the lady in front of me just didn’t have enough money, so I bought all of her stuff.” I said, “You what!?” She said—I said, “How much!?” She said, “I think it was a hundred bucks.”

Ann: It was $200.

Dave: I said, “A hundred bucks for a stranger?!” [Laughter] And I’m telling you, Brant, I was so mad. I said, “She played you!”

Ann: No, she had all these kids!

Dave: “She knew you were that woman—”

Ann: She was pulling out pennies—

Dave: —yes, and I come home, and I’m really upset, and I’m worried because money’s tight. She just spent money on the kids’ birthday thing. I’m just not in a good place, and I don’t know, an hour later, the mail comes. I’m looking through the mail, and there’s this check for, I think it was, $2,000, from some speaking gig about nine months ago. They said, “Oh, we never sent you—”

I literally just sat there and thought, “There it is again.”

Brant: That’s really interesting.

Dave: This is the story of my life!

Ann: It is! [Laughter]

Dave: I can’t tell you how many times—

Ann: —you worry about [things] so often! You should make that list that Brant talked about yesterday.

Dave: I mean, yesterday, when you said, “Not only remember, but feel it.”

Brant: Yes.

Ann: What do you mean by “feel it?”

Dave: In that moment, I was so grateful. I felt like God just said, “I’m here. I’m just reminding you again: I’ve always been faithful. I always will [be]. You can worry if you want, but you really don’t have to. I’ve got this. This isn’t your department; it’s My department. I’ve got this.”

What you said yesterday just reminded me of that. That’s the source of joy, right?

Brant: Yes, in the sense that joy is a sense of well-being regardless of circumstances. That’s Dallas Willard’s formation, and I love it. You have this sense of well-being no matter what.

Dave: Yes.

Brant: And it’s because of His track record.

Ann: Yes.

Brant: You actually trust His character.

Dave: Yes.

Brant: What’s wild is, that sort of story can happen, and if you don’t rehearse it, you will forget it; and then, you won’t remember just how faithful He has been over and over and over and over. At some point, honestly, we have to admit it’s pretty stupid to get upset about the same thing over and over, when He has come through over and over. [Laughter] Really, honestly, that’s all of us.

Ann: It’s all of us!

Dave: Years ago, I would say, “I’m not really a meditative guy. I don’t meditate.” I was reading a book years ago about worry, and it said, “Do you know what worry is? It’s meditation.”

Brant: Hmm.

Dave: You’re thinking the same—

Ann: —worry over—

Brant: —yes.

Dave: —usually, bad thoughts—

Brant: —yes.

Dave: —over and over and over. You don’t meditate? Yes, you do! It’s called worry. Take that and flip it, and say, “I’m going to meditate on the Word of God. I’m going to meditate on His faithfulness. I’m going to meditate on the things you said yesterday.”

Ann: Yes.

Dave: That’s a better way, instead of just emptying your mind in meditation—like you said yesterday, that could lead to more stress—fill it—

Brant: —yes.

Dave: —in a different way; not with worry, but with Who God is.

Brant: You counteract it with the truth about His goodness.

Dave and Ann: Yes!

Brant: And how He’s been good in your own life. You can counteract it with truth from Scripture if you memorize something.

Dave: Yes.

Brant: But there are things—you can catch yourself thinking a certain way, and say, “Yeah, that’s stupid! I’m going to think about this other thing.” That’s a brilliant and Scriptural way to do things.

Ann: And it’s also self-control, which is a fruit of the Spirit. We have that self-control, as we walk with Him, to be able to train ourselves to think in that way.

Brant: Yes; you become a different sort of person, who is less anxious.

Ann: Yes.

Brant: I’ve talked about this in the context of anger, but animals don’t get ulcers like we do; and Jesus is telling us to be like the animals—be like the birds of the air. They’re not worried about next week. They’re not worried about next year or ten years from now; just today.

Ann: Yes.

Brant: And He’s saying, “Be like that.” Well, we have all of these physiological consequences because we disregard what Jesus is saying, that we think is not realistic or something; but our bodies suffer. You will age faster; your heart will be affected; your blood pressure; all of your endocrine system, because of this worry that you think you can’t do without. But you can! Jesus is not being unrealistic when He tells us that we don’t need to be worried. He doesn’t know less; He knows more.

I use the example in Scripture, too, of Paul. He’s on this boat, and there are 260-whatever people; it says the number. They’re all convinced they’re going to die.

Ann: Because the storm is so great.

Brant: The storm is so great; they know they’re going to wreck. That’s the experience sailors—the captain of the ship, everybody on there—are saying, “We’re going to wreck and die.” Paul is not phased at all. It’s because God told Him, “The ship is going to wreck, but everybody’s going to be okay. No one will lose their lives” [Acts 27:22]

To everybody else’s perspective—think about this!—he’s the crazy one. They can tell: “This is going to wreck, and we’re all going to die, and you’re not freaking out! You don’t know what’s going on!” That’s the way our whole culture is. If you’re at peace; if you actually aren’t anxious, they’ll think, “You just don’t understand. You should be anxious about what we’re—”

No, no, no! It’s not because you don’t know. It’s because you know more. You know that God is actually good, and you know how this ends. You know you can trust Him and the way He promises it’s going to end, with “every tear will be wiped away from their eyes.” [Revelation 21:4] The lame are going to leap like deer. The deaf will hear There are going to be these reunions of people who’ve gone on before. It’s going to be a big party.

Dave: I mean, that’s one of the points in one of your chapters: It isn’t that you know less that makes you worry.

Brant: Yes!

Dave: You know more! I can’t tell you the number of times, as a chaplain of the [Detroit] Lions, when a player would get injured—most of the time, they freak out, because they know their livelihood is on this.

Brant: Yes.

Dave: They’re probably going to get cut.

I remember, we were—believe it or not, the Lions [were] in the playoffs this year—

Brant: —yes.

Dave: —this was years ago when we were playing Tampa in the playoffs, and our starting center, Kevin Glover, a man of God—a faithful man of God, still is to this day—broke his tibia and fibula. He heard it snap: “Bamp!” He was lying there, and I remember walking over just to pray for him, because I would often pray for him. Kevin’s [injury] is bad! I mean, he heard it, and you know, his season is over, and maybe, his career.

I remember walking up to him and looking at him. He was smiling. I said, “Dude!” He said, “God’s got me.”

Brant: That’s what I’m talking about.

Dave: “God’s got this whole thing.”

Brant: So good!

Dave: It wasn’t like he was laughing.

Brant: No; he’s not happy!

Dave: But there was a sense of peace—

Brant: —yes—

Dave: —that I had rarely, if ever, seen, there in that moment. Why does he have that peace? It’s just what you said: he knows more than the other guys do.

Brant: When Jesus is telling us, “You don’t need to worry” [Matthew 6], God Himself in taking on flesh, in His message to us, among other messages, is, “You don’t need to worry about a thing. I’ve got this! You really don’t. I’ve got this. You’re going to have trouble but take heart! I have overcome the world. You can be of good cheer.” [John 16] He’s not joking!

I liken it to—speaking of a sports analogy; the classic example to me—when you’re watching your team losing live—you’re watching it on TV or whatever—they’re losing, the refs are ripping you off, the coach is making bad calls—

Dave: I’ve been there! I’ve been there.

Brant: Yes, I figured! [Laughter] “Right, Brant.”

Dave: Detroit Lions? It happens every week.

Brant: Okay, that’s great! But if there’s an incredible comeback, and your team wins at the last second, that’s—if you rewatch that on YouTube five years later, are you worried? Are you mad at the refs?

Dave: No.

Brant: Are you agonizing over every fumble? Are you still throwing your pillow off the couch when there’s a fumble? No! Why?

Ann: You know the ending!

Brant: You know how this ends!

And Jesus knows how this ends! And He’s saying, “You don’t need to worry about anything.” That should matter. If we know how this ends, this is a thing we have to practice.

Ann: Yes.

Brant: You have to control what’s going into your mind. What are you paying attention to? If you’re paying attention, primarily, to things that cause anxiety, you’ll be an anxious person.

Ann: Well, let’s talk about that, because your book title is Life is Hard. God is Good. Let’s Dance.

Brant: Yes.

Ann: What about those people who are resonating, [saying], “Life is hard, but I don’t think God is good.” They’re checking out, because they can’t trust Him. They don’t know.

Brant: Well, the good news is better than most of us think. I shouldn’t have done this, but I was at this big Christian school, and I said, “Hey, what was Jesus’s favorite topic?” It was a big assembly or whatever; there were hundreds of kids. I heard, “Love?” “No.” “Heaven? Hell? Money?” “No, no, no.” And I said, “Are you telling me nobody knows?”

“What kind of Christian school is this?” [Laughter] I meant it as a joke, but it was met with silence. I thought, “I’m not getting asked back!” I was just trying to be funny, but it wasn’t. I said, “It’s the Kingdom of God! That’s His favorite topic.”

People who say, “Yes, life is hard. I don’t know if God is good,” don’t have a view of the Kingdom of God that is accurate; because, if you do, again, Jesus keeps talking about it. He says it’s “breaking through now. It’s available to you.” It’s so great! Here’s what I mean by that: I get to work with this hospital network called “Cure,” which I’ve had the chance to talk with you guys about. I get to visit these hospitals and see kids who get healed.

So, its like a girl who’s 15; she finally has her cleft palate taken care or, and she’s beautiful. She’s had to be completely isolated her whole life until now.

Ann: Because—?

Brant: Because she’s considered cursed by that culture that she’s in. These are at all the hospitals that Cure runs. Our kids now walk and run for the first time; they dance; they play hopscotch. Dreams come true. You get goose bumps! You see the “before and after,” and you get goose bumps. That’s because you’re recognizing the Kingdom.

When the Kingdom is described in the Old Testament, the Kingdom of God looks like, “the lame will leap like deer, the deaf will hear.” If you watch on YouTube—you can go on YouTube and watch somebody who can hear for the first time—

Ann: —yes!

Brant: —it gives you goose bumps! It makes you cry. Why?

Or I love—and I’m not even emotional normally—the ones where the soldiers come back and surprise a daughter in a classroom—

Dave: Ahhh!

Ann: Yes!

Brant: —and it’s just—

Dave: —you just sit there and weep!

Brant: Yes; I saw one (I can’t even talk about it); there’s one where the girl just can’t even believe that her dad is standing there. She can’t even react. She doesn’t say anything. Silent in her classroom, and everybody’s just waiting. Then, she just breaks down sobbing, just crying! “Dad’s home.”

We watch that, and it gives you goose bumps; it makes you emotional. Or the Olympics opening ceremonies; I’ll use that as an example. There’s this big processional—all the nations are gathered together, and there’s this big processional. People are at peace, and there’s music. Why does that give me goose bumps? All of this stuff?

It’s the Kingdom! It’s a little hint of it; of heaven in its fullness. Seeing people get healed—you realize we’re headed for this big party, where we’re going to see one person after another reunited with someone they lost, one after the other, and we’re all going to be cheering that.

There’s a woman who could never walk, and now, she’s dancing. And now, here’s a guy—just one after the other, with all these nations finally gathered. No more ego trips, no more posing, no more—just pure joy! That’s what the Kingdom is. Jesus is explaining how good it is, and He’s actually [saying], “It’s breaking through. Let me show you.” And He heals somebody. “See? It’s breaking through.” He heals somebody else. “See? This is a little harbinger of what’s to come.”

So, if you don’t think that’s good, I actually do think you think it’s good; you just didn’t realize the plan that God has and how good He actually is. He’s at work. This Kingdom is available to us now, this way of life. It’s really good.

Dave: Is that what you think Jesus is getting at in Matthew 6—and we’ve talked about “Don’t worry about what you’re going to wear, eat. . . the birds of the field. . .” We’ve said much about that. Then, at the very end, it’s a verse we all quote. He doesn’t say, “Seek first Me.”

Brant: Yes; the Kingdom.

Dave: He says, “Seek first the Kingdom.” Is that what you think He’s getting at? What the Kingdom represents?

Brant: Definitely; and letting us be involved in that.

Dave and Ann: Yes.

Brant: So that His Kingdom—pray that it will be “on earth as it is in heaven.” [from the Lord’s Prayer] When we, as believers, try to be His apprentices, try to be Jesus’s followers, [and] we learn His ways, we make that happen. We become healers; we become peacemakers. We become agents of His Kingdom here, instead of other kingdoms that are horrible. His Kingdom is beautiful. It’s worth trading everything for.

Once you get a glimpse of it, you [say], “This is so beautiful [that] I’m all in on this!” If you haven’t been exposed to that idea—and, unfortunately, a lot of churches don’t talk about the Kingdom of God. It’s too bad! It was Jesus’s favorite subject. It should be ours, too, I think.

Ann: Our son went to Egypt a few years ago, and when he was there, he went to a ministry that, once a week, the people and the parents who had kids that were disabled or had some sort of special needs, would come to this big building, and they would have a party.

Brant: That’s what I’m talking about!

Ann: They would celebrate. They had food. They’d play games.

Brant: Yes.

Ann: And it was such a ministry, because in that part of the world, as you said, these parents were told that their family (and their child) was cursed.

Brant: Yes.

Ann: So, they had no place in society. It gets me emotional, talking about it. There was a child with special needs who was kept outside with a collar around his neck, and he was chained to the house, but kept outside.

So, here come these believers, saying, “Let us celebrate your child!” All of these parents, you know, are in such shame. They don’t want to even leave their house, because they’re persecuted. They’re shamed and put off from society. And here they bring these kids into this big room, and the staff are cheering, clapping, celebrating, hugging, [and] welcoming these kids.

Brant: There you go!

Ann: This ministry started to grow, because they [thought], “If Jesus receives us, and if the Kingdom of God is like this, we’re in!” It’s exactly what you’re talking about.

Brant: Well, Jesus keeps trying to explain it to us. He says, “The Kingdom is like this: it’s banquet.”

Ann: Yes.

Brant: “It’s this place where the humble get lifted up.” When you flip things upside down, you get goose bumps. [It’s] very similar to the Tim Tebow “Night to Shine” thing. It’s a dance where they have a red carpet, but it’s not a red carpet for the cool, usual people. It’s a red carpet for the people who have some kind of disability. And they’re honored and fed and celebrated. Cure does this every day in these hospitals.

Ann: Even the mom that carried her son on her back—share that.

Brant: Well, yes; I just mention her. She’s at the hospital. She’s had to carry her son—first grade, second grade, third grade—more than a mile to school, on her back, because he can’t walk. He’s got a club foot, but she can’t do anything about it. She has no access to medical care, and she’s got no money. Well, a truck driver stops her—and he’s in middle school at this point, and she’s still carrying him; he’s big! A truck driver said, “I think there’s a Christian hospital not far away from here that might be able to do this for free.

Sure enough, we were able to. He’s able to walk. His name is Andy Angelo. [Laughter] His mom, when she was at the hospital, finally was not cursed. She was literally having a burden off her back. She said, “Now this is a place where God walks the earth.” It’s like an embassy from the Kingdom of God, and once you get a glimpse of how good that it, it’s magnetic. [Laughter]

So, Jesus keeps trying to explain how good it is, and we become the people who throw parties now, as believers.

Ann: Yes!

Brant: Because we’re the ones who aren’t anxious, right? Everybody else is anxious and angry. We’re not! We can throw the party. And people say, “Why are you so hopeful? What is the deal with you believers?” But we have to become a different sort of person.

Dave: Yes.

Brant: Our minds have to be transformed by what we’re paying attention to and what we’re dialed into; being able to tell ourselves true things; giving thanks; arresting our stupid thoughts, our bad thoughts, our immature thoughts, and saying, “No, I’m not going to think about that. I’m going to thank God for stuff.” We become different.

Ann: I love the story of the boy in your neighborhood that you threw the party for.

Brant: Oh, yes! So, I’m an introvert, and my wife and I have become more “party people.” [Laughter] What I mean by this is—

Dave: —I mean, I’ve been to your neighborhood. I’ve seen it. I know where you live.

Brant: Yes!

Dave: Yes.

Brant: It’s a tight little neighborhood with townhomes and stuff.Dave: Yes.

Brant: There’s one guy who tried to organize a neighborhood walk in the neighborhood. [He’s a] eat guy, a young adult, who has some special needs he’s dealing with (a brain injury and whatnot). He uses a walker, and his way of speaking is impacted; but he’s very outgoing. He’s always trying to get people to walk with him once a week. He called it “Walk for Wellness.” Great idea!

I drove by one time, and I saw him standing by himself at the gathering place. So, I started going for walks with him. He liked music like Dave and I do. [Laughter] I asked, “What kind of music? You should come over, and we can jam!” He just likes to sing. So, he would; and we would sing all this classic rock stuff, or whatever he wanted. Then, he was sad, because he said, “I finally have a friend, and my parents are moving,”—he lived with his parents—“and I have to go with them.”

I was sad, too, and I said, “You know what? We’re going to throw you a going away party for the neighborhood, so that everybody can say “goodbye.” He said, “Do you think anybody will come?” “I don’t know? I think so!” So, we put it on the neighborhood Facebook® page, fully realizing this was a risk.

Ann: Yes!

Brant: But we’re going to honor him. We got streamers and balloons and a cake, and everything. And it was just him and my wife and me for the first half-hour. He was fine. We were talking, laughing, and having the cake. Then, we had some neighbors, a mom and her daughter, whom we had asked, “Please come over!” [Laughter] And they did.

Then, some people started coming that we didn’t know. They [had seen] the Facebook thing, and they had met him walking down the street one time or whatever. Pretty soon, our house was jammed, spilling out into the courtyard, and out to the front street. And he could not believe it! His parents came, and they were not Christian people, they would say, not religious people. For him, it was quite the opposite (my friend), but they had struggled with his disability, like, “Why would this happen?”

Dave: Yes.

Brant: His mom told me, the next morning when they were pulling out—I saw them when I was walking the dog, and they were literally pulling out with the moving truck; and she said, “I thought a lot about God last night. Maybe why our son has what he has is he’s actually a blessing to people.” I said, “It’s totally a blessing to people!”

But it’s a risk, right? Maybe nobody comes. But you make yourself vulnerable. And when you realize you don’t have to be cool, it’s okay! [Laughter] If I throw a party and no—it’s alright. So, we started throwing parties. There’s a lawn group of immigrants that comes through once a week. We threw a party for them one day. I asked, “Could I provide lunch?” We cranked “Guatemala’s Top 50” on Spotify®. [Laughter] We had food.

Our neighbors were driving by again, saying, “They’re throwing parties for the lawn people now! What?” [Laughter] That’s not natural for me, but I think, as we change, we get more that way.

Ann: Yes.

Brant: You’ve got nothing to lose! All you can do is just say, “I want His Kingdom on earth as it is in heaven.” And in God’s Kingdom, the lawn people get a party, and they get thanked for working in the heat out there. That’s a tough job! It’s just a “thank you.” That’s all.

“Well, what are the results from that?” I don’t know! [Laughter] God’s in charge of the results, right? You just do your thing joyfully. This is a much lighter way to live. His way is restful! His yoke is lighter. It’s more fun. We laugh more. We become more childlike. He told us, “Let your faith be like this.” [like a child’s] Well, kids laugh 11 times more than adults. That’s a fact!

Dave: Yes.

Brant: So, you become more childlike. You can laugh at stuff. People actually want to be around you. [Laughter] A lot of it is releasing that control—that anxiety and worry—that we’re almost addicted to; and we can not be.

Ann: And it can be crippling.

Brant: Yes.

Ann: It’s living in freedom and joy, to allow yourself to be able to dance; because when we’re heavy, and the burden feels so unbearable—

Brant: —we can’t!

Ann: —we can’t dance.

Brant: No! And there’s nothing better. I mentioned going to the dance party at the Cure hospital in Niger. All of these kids, with different levels of disabilities—on Thursday afternoon, the Art Room becomes a dance party! These are kids at the hospital, at different levels of healing. Some are in wheelchairs; some are with canes; some [with] walkers; some, you just have to hold. You’ll pick up a couple of little kids and dance around.

They just crank the music and dance! There were four girls at the last one that I was at—teenagers—all with a rare affliction that affects your face, disfigures your face, as a teenager, from malnutrition. They had been totally isolated. They get to the Cure hospital, where they’re celebrated and told they’re beautiful, and then, they find each other. [Laughter] Four teenagers! They were laughing, giggling, dancing, playing. There’s nothing cooler than a dance party when no one’s trying to be cool. Right?

Dave: Right.

Ann: Yes, yes.

Brant: You don’t have to be cool! There’s nothing better than a big party where no one is trying to be cool at all.

Dave: Boy, oh boy! I hope families are inspired to do what you’re doing, Brant. Open your eyes, look around in your neighborhood, and throw a party. Throw a party!

Brant: Yes! You’ve got nothing to lose. And if we can do this, I promise, you can. This is not second nature for us.

Shelby: “Nothing’s better than a dance party where nobody’s trying to be cool!” [Laughter] What if we stopped trying to be cool and started focusing on the joy God can provide despite our circumstances. That would be a different world, right? Maybe you would even have a different home.

I’m Shelby Abbott, and you’ve been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson with Brant Hansen on FamilyLife Today. Brant is one of our favorites. Even though we’re not supposed to have favorites, he’s one of our favorites. And he’s written a book called Life is Hard. God is Good. Let’s Dance. What an appropriate way to end our time with him today, talking about that dance party.

His book is going to be our gift to you when you partner with us today. You can get your copy right now with any donation. You just go online to FamilyLifeToday.com, and you click on the “Donate Now” button at the top of the page. Or give us a call with your donation at 800-358-6329; again, that number is 800, “F” as in family, “L” as in life, and then the word, “TODAY.” Or you can feel free to drop us a donation in the mail if you’d like, too. Our address is FamilyLife, 100 Lake Hart Drive, Orlando, Florida 32832.

Now, what is the value of attention as a resource? I don’t often think about that very much. And what kind of impact can it have on our lives? Well, Brant Hansen is back again tomorrow to talk about just that.

On behalf of my friends, Dave and Ann Wilson, I’m Shelby Abbott. We will see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today.

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