Wrestling with Bitterness (Naomi & Ruth): Nana Dolce

Nana: It’s important to me to know, when I’m going through a struggle, that my covenant God is in this, because otherwise, who is stronger than Him in this moment? And so, He’s still faithful, and I have to trust—even if I don’t believe that I feel it in the moment, I have to trust—God’s intentions are good, and He is with us even in calamity.

Shelby: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I’m Shelby Abbott, and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson. You can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com.

Ann: This is FamilyLife—

Dave: Today!

Dave: We’re talking about a woman, today, in Scripture—

Ann: —yes.

Dave: —that’s going to change our lives.

Ann: Oh, you’re projecting this?

Dave: I’m a prophet right now.

Ann: Okay.

Dave: I’m prophesying that this study will change our lives.

Ann: I think every story in Scripture can change our lives, but I think this one is going to be fun. We have Nana Dolce back in the studio with us today, and we’ve been talking about her book—

Dave: —and by the way, you’re a Bible scholar.

Ann: You are.

Dave: Of all the people we have on here, you are a scholar. Any topic, any person, like today, Naomi, we’re just going to dive deep, because you dive deep. Have you always? Are you wired that way?

Nana: When I became a Christian, one of the things that changed instantly was my desire to read the Bible. I actually didn’t understand my Bible for a very long time. I read it out of a duty more so than out of a desire.

Dave: Right.

Nana: When I became a Christian, I just wanted to read my Bible. I had a desire, a passion for it, and also seeking to understand it. So, it definitely was not instant [the deep dive]; it wasn’t automatic. It was asking questions; it was studying. I guess I want those listening to know they can do this, too.

Dave: Yes, right.

Nana: This isn’t a Nana Dolce thing. You can do this, too.

Ann: And Nana, I think the more I read it, the more fascinated and intrigued I am by it.

Nana: Oh.

Ann: It’s so good, isn’t it?

Nana: It’s the best story ever told.

Dave: I want to have you help our listener understand. How do you read the Bible in a way you understand it? Because when you said that, I thought, “A lot of people feel what you felt: ‘I don’t understand it.’”

Ann: “It’s too deep.”

Dave: And even Bible helps, and study Bibles, all those kind of things—I didn’t even know they existed.

Nana: Yes.

Dave: I just felt like I read it, and I was supposed to sit there and think, “Whoa. What does this mean?” What are the ways that you discovered how to understand it?

Nana: My first answer will seem like, “Oh, of course. That’s the Christian answer. That’s what we’re supposed to say;” but pray! Pray before you read your Bible. There’s a Scripture that says that these are spiritual things, and we understand them through the Spirit.

Ann: Yes.

Nana: The Spirit of God helps us. He opens our eyes to see treasures and to see marvelous things. Ask Him to do that! Go to God and ask Him to help you. And then, maybe there’s someone in your church who you know, “Oh, they’re just so faithful in studying their Bible. They enjoy it. They love it.” Ask if you can study with them. Ask your pastors.

Ann: That’s good.

Nana: Yes.

Ann: And I have another thing they can do: they can read the Bible, and they can look at certain Scriptures—

Nana: —yes!

Ann: —based on your book. [Laughter]

Nana: Oh. I thought you were going to say something else. That’s why I agreed so quickly! [Laughter]

Ann: The Seed of the Woman, which is a book that you’ve written, talking about Jesus. You’re looking at women of the Bible, but I thought, if you just haven’t been able to get into your Scripture, maybe read about these women that are in your book in the Bible first, and then, read it in your book, too; and you’ll see all these different things come alive.

We’ve already been talking about Esther and the impact that she made on the entire Jewish community by saving them. Ultimately, God was the Savior, and Mordecai, and so many people fasting and praying; but today we’re going to go a different route.

Dave: Naomi.

Ann: Yes.

Nana: So, this is in the book of Ruth, and, in many ways, I think the book of Ruth begins and ends with Naomi. This is a woman whose husband, during famine, uproots the entire family and takes them to Moab. They live in Bethlehem, which means “House of Bread,” but the house of bread is empty. There’s a famine. There’s nothing to eat. They go to Moab, and things were supposed to be better for them.

There was supposed to be more food, but Naomi is met with another kind of famine, another kind of drought, which is the stripping away of her entire family. So, her husband dies, Elimelech. She has two sons, and they die. Before they died, though, they married these two Moabite women, Ruth and Orpah. Her name, “Naomi,” means “sweet or pleasant,” but she grows bitter because of the adversity that she encounters.

And let’s not forget that this is also a society where her well-being and her sustenance depend on the inheritance that belonged to the men.

Ann: Yes.

Nana: So, not only is she, obviously—she’s lost these family members that I’m sure are dear to her, but suddenly, she becomes impoverished. She’s a poor, destitute woman, because her dependency is on the men in her life, and all of them are dead.

One thing I’ll say for Naomi is, when you look at Ruth 1, she hears that the famine is over, and she has decided to move back to Bethlehem. And when she’s appealing to these two women, she is unashamed about invoking the name of Yahweh. She says, “May the Lord deal kindly with you as you have dealt with me.” So, it tells me that she probably was unashamed in living out her trust in Yahweh before these foreign women.

Ann: Which makes me think her faith was still vibrant.

Nana: Sure. She reminds me of Job in a lot of ways. In my book, I call her the “female Job” in some ways. I think if she and Job met, they would have sat down and had some tea [Laughter], and they would have been understanding friends, because Job loses many family members. He’s stripped of a lot of things; so was Naomi. And they both see God’s hand in their suffering, which is a big one.

Ann: Yes.

Dave: How do you get there, and how did Naomi get there?

Nana: Yes, yes.

Dave: Because when you said, “she’s bitter,” I think a lot of us have felt that. There may be some listening right now who are bitter and are like, “How do I dig out of that?” How did she dig out?

Nana: Chapter one of Ruth, I don’t see Naomi being quick to actually dig out of it. She says some pretty strong things. [Laughter] When they go back to Bethlehem, the women gather around her. They are excited to see her, and they say, “Oh, Naomi, you’re back.” And she says to them, in verse 20, “Do not call me Naomi, call me ‘Mara,’ which means ‘bitter,’ for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me.”

She said, “I went away full, and the Lord”—she uses His covenant name—"has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi, when the Lord has testified against me, and the Almighty has brought calamity upon me?” She keeps calling His Name and saying, “He is in this.”

Ann: “He did it.”

Nana: “He is in this.” Initially, when we read this, we’re tempted to say, “Oh, Naomi, don’t blame God” or “don’t accuse God falsely.” And we do want to be careful, obviously, in how we think about God’s hand in our suffering, because we know that God is never the author of evil. But sometimes, we want to defend God; especially if someone is going through something, and you come alongside them, there’s sometimes a temptation to say, “God hasn’t done this” or “He’s really good.”

We want to give those platitudes, but the person sitting in that pain, especially if they are like Naomi and Job, and they know that this Sovereign God could have prevented this—

Dave: —right.

Nana: —and this Sovereign God’s providence could have made my husband and my sons strong and with me. It’s hard for them to hear our little platitudes, our little—they know that God was able to prevent this, so if this happened, then He’s in it. In chapter one, Naomi is not quick to dig out of it, but as we keep going, I think she will come to see that, even in calamity, even when really bad and hurtful things happen to us, God is in it, and His intention is always good, even if it doesn’t feel good.

Ann: I’m thinking about how sometimes I want people to get out of that.

Nana: Yes.

Ann: Maybe too quickly.

Nana: Sure.

Ann: Like, “Oh, come on. God is good.” But do you think, sometimes, they do need to sit in it a little bit more and grieve it?

Nana: I don’t ever want to take the honor of God’s Sovereignty away from Him just because I’m hurting.

Ann: Yes.

Nana: It would be the worst thing for you to tell me, “God is not in my pain,” because then who is? Who was stronger than God to allow this to happen?

I need to hear that God is in it, because He’s still Yahweh. He’s still our covenant God. She calls Him by His covenant name. She never changes that. Her covenant God is in this, and it’s important for me to know, when I’m going through a struggle, that my covenant God is in this, because otherwise who is stronger than Him in this moment?

So, He’s still faithful, and I have to trust, even if I don’t believe I feel it in the moment, I have to trust that, just as Joseph told his brothers: “You intended this for evil, but He intended it for good.” His good intention will come. Let me keep living. Let me see how this story works out in the end. God’s intentions are good, and He is with us, even in calamity.

Ann: I remember one of our friends, Jamie Winship, saying [that] when we go through hard times, many of us ask, “Why, God? Why, God?” He said you seldom hear God answering that question, “Why?” but he said—this really stuck out to me, especially when I lost my sister when she was in her 40’s, because I did ask those questions. “This makes no sense, God. I don’t even understand why You would allow this to happen.”

But Jamie, our friend, said, “Instead of asking, ‘Why, God?’ ask God, ‘What do You want me to know in this situation?’” I remember, when I walked through that, I felt like God just wanted me to know He is with me. He is with me. He is with me. I have a sense that Naomi feels that.

Nana: Yes.

Ann: “He is with me, even though I’m wallowing in my bitter, I know that He’s still with me.”

Nana: Yes, so true. It reminds me, as I mentioned: she’s my female Job.

Ann: Yes.

Nana: And Job definitely is asking, “Why?” And God shows up at the end of Job. He doesn’t answer the direct questions of “Why?” but He does ask Job questions: “Where were you when I made this creature Leviathan? This fierce creature. I lead him like you would lead a dog on a leash.” God wants Job to know the Who: “This is Who I am.”

Dave: So how did Naomi get there? Keep walking us with her.

Nana: What we’ll see is that she isn’t stripped of everything after all, because there’s this daughter-in-law who says, “I’m clinging to you, Naomi, and where you go, I will go, and your God will be my God.” We’re going to see that God can use the unexpected, and when you think you’ve lost everything, God is writing a story. He’s such a good author, and there are plot twists that will show His glory and His care for us, His lovingkindness.

That’s the theme throughout the book of Ruth: hesed, God’s loving kindness. It continues to show up, and Ruth is definitely an example of that in Naomi’s life, because she says, “I’m going with you, and I’m not leaving you.” She goes with her mother-in-law, and they come to Bethlehem right at the time of the harvest. Again, we see God’s providence in that.

So, Ruth is going to become someone who will glean. She’ll leave Naomi and go into these fields. She’s a foreign woman, and she’ll just go into these fields.

Ann: And looked down upon, I might add, because she is a foreigner.

Nana: Oh, absolutely. When you read the book of Ruth, she’s always described as “Ruth, the Moabite.”

Ann: Right.

Nana: “Ruth, the Moabite,” highlighting the fact that she’s not an Israelite. She goes into these fields, and this is the time of the Judges, so the very first sentence we read in the book of Ruth is, “In the days when the Judges ruled, there was a famine in the land.” And if you read the book of Judges, you know that these are terrible times.

Ann: Because—

Nana: —oh, everyone is doing right in their own eyes. And when human beings decide to do right in our own eyes, we can do some pretty terrible things, including take advantage of the vulnerable, especially vulnerable women. In the book of Judges, there are women who are raped and who are just absolutely abused. So this foreign woman is going out into these fields. Why? Because she’s committed to caring for Naomi.

Ann: To provide food for her.

Nana: Yes, and she puts herself in danger, really. Ruth puts herself in danger in going out into the fields.

Ann: I think Naomi, too; for Ruth to be so committed to her and her God, because doesn’t she say, “And your God will be my God?”

Nana: Yes.

Ann: So, Naomi did represent this attractiveness of this God of the Israelite people.

Nana: Yes.

Ann: She must have talked about Him. She must have trusted Him for Ruth to be so faithful in her love and care for Naomi, but also risking her own life.

Nana: Yes, I believe she did. And the speech that Naomi gives to Ruth and Orpah in chapter one testifies of that, because she’s willing to let them go.

Ann: Okay, keep going! [Laughter]

Dave: I want to hear the rest.

Nana: Ruth—there’s a verse that I love, that says that her feet “happened to land” on the field that was Boaz’s field. Her feet “happened to land!” So, even there we see God’s providence, right? He is sovereign right down to our footsteps.

Ann: That’s good.

Nana: Yes. She didn’t know where she was going. She didn’t know whose field was which. She happened to come right to the place where she would be protected, where she would be free to glean as much as possible; and she never goes back to her mother-in-law empty-handed. So, remember, in Chapter One, Naomi is stressing how God has stripped her and made her empty.

There is this word, “empty,” that she keeps saying. In Chapter two, we see God beginning to fill Naomi through Ruth’s lovingkindness, right? The woman who just said, “The Almighty has brought calamity upon me,” at the end of Chapter two, says this: “May he be blessed by the Lord,” speaking of Boaz, “whose kindness,” God’s kindness, “has not forsaken the living or the dead.” [Ruth 2:20] So, her words are already changing.

Ann: Yes, they are.

Nana: And she’s beginning to see, “Okay, God stripped me of my husband and of my sons, but, ultimately, He’s going to fill me with Himself.”

Ann: I’m just imagining Ruth, how she filled up so many of those empty places for Naomi.

Nana: Yes.

Ann: Even as they talked, and then, Naomi begins to strategize with Ruth.

Nana: Yes.

Ann: [She says]: “Hmm, this is interesting, that Boaz is showing you some favor.” So, take us to the next part.

Nana: She begins to have hope, now, for rest for her and for Ruth through this man, Boaz. And she comes up with this interesting strategy. [Laughter] It’s like that older mama at your church.

Ann: Yes!

Nana: I go to a church in southeast D.C. that is filled with older women. Our church is—I wouldn’t say it’s a very, very large church, but—it’s big enough, and most of the members are 60 and over.

Dave: Really?

Nana: So, I’m a baby. I remember when I was turning 30, and I was telling these women, and they said, “Girl, you ain’t nothing but a baby.” [Laughter] I said, “I’m turning 30!” They said, “Thirty ain’t nothin’ but a baby.” So, let me give you a sense of when I talk about their age: we recognize birthdays; you have to be 80 and above to get your birthday called out on Sunday.

Ann: Come on!

Nana: Octogenarians, yes.

Ann: How does that feel for you, being with these older women?

Nana: Oh, I love it so much! I love it so much. There isn’t one Sunday I can remember where they haven’t called out a birthday. That’s how many older members we have.

Dave: Really? That’s what I was going to ask.

Nana: Yes.

Dave: Really!

Nana: A lot of them are older members who came from the South during the Great Migration, when people were moving away from the South and coming more to the North, finding jobs in D.C. And all you have to do is sit down with them, and you will hear all these stories of growing up in the South. So, a lot of them I call “Mama” this and “Mama” that, and they’ve adopted our family.

So, when I look at this advice that Naomi gives to Ruth, it doesn’t sound like one that Ruth would have come up with on her own, right?

Ann: Yes, yes.

Nana: It was a “Mama” somebody saying, “Now, girl, this is what you need to do.” [Laughter] “I need you to bathe, put on that perfume, get fresh, go the field; wait for him to eat and drink, now, and then when he lays over here, go over here and do this and that, and wait for him, to see what he will say.”

Boaz was a member of Naomi’s family, so she knew him. She knew him, and I don’t think she would have sent her there if she knew that there was a threat of something happening to Ruth.

Ann: Right; she knew he was a good man.

Nana: She knew he was a worthy man—

Ann: —yes—

Nana: —which is the word that is consistently used to describe Boaz in this story. She knew that Boaz wouldn’t take advantage of Ruth, but I think she knew that Ruth doing that would put the matter very clearly in Boaz’s court: “Okay, we need you to redeem,” because there was a custom called the “Levirate marriage,” where if a man dies and leaves a widow, especially one without an heir, she’s going to be poor, she’s going to be out of the family.

In order to keep her within the family, and to keep the property of the dead man, and to give him an heir, someone who was related to them would redeem her by marriage. Boaz qualified to do this, and Naomi knew it. So, she sends Ruth to the fields to, really, essentially say, “Redeem us. Redeem us.”

Ann: Yes. Naomi ain’t no dummy!

Nana: Yes. [Laughter]

Ann: This girl—and I’m thinking, as she’s strategizing and praying and thinking and even recalling who Boaz was, I’m sure she was praying like crazy; but I’m also seeing her hope probably reignited,—

Nana: —yes—

Ann: —of her future reignited, as she sees her daughter-in-law and wants the best for her daughter-in-law.

Nana: Yes.

Ann: Take us to the end of the story.

Dave: I don’t know if we have time.

Ann: Well, we’ll get into Ruth tomorrow.

Nana: Yes, sure. But Naomi, I think we can end on. We can end with Naomi.

Dave: Okay, let’s do it.

Nana: Because Boaz does it! He redeems Ruth, and they have a baby who is legally Naomi’s grandson, because, remember, Levirate marriage means that that boy is recognized as Ruth’s former husband’s child. And they laid this baby on her. Remember, in Chapter one, she says she’s empty. By the end of the story, she has a bouncing baby boy filling her arms. [Laughter]

Again, those same women from Chapter one come, and they surround her; and they name the boy “Obed,” which means servant, because they say, “He will serve his grandmother and nourish her in her old age.” God’s intentions for Naomi were good all along, because this boy will nourish Naomi, but he will also lead to King David, who will ultimately lead to the best King, the Servant King, the Redeeming King.

What God wanted for Naomi was so much bigger than she could even imagine, a redemption that would come all the way down to the Savior, Who has redeemed all of us.

Dave: So, in some ways it comes back to when we are where she was, feeling empty, there’s a God in control.

Nana: Yes.

Dave: There’s a God, like you said earlier—I’ve never heard that: “Her feet ended up”—Who’s in control, even of our little footsteps.

Ann: Yes, and if you’re at that place where you feel absolutely empty, there is a God—

Dave: —Who fills—

Nana: —yes—

Ann: —Who fills, and your story is not over.

Nana: Yes. He’s amazing.

Shelby: I don’t know about you, but I have certainly felt empty at times in my life. Things are busy with my kids, getting them to all their practices, driving around, juggling activities and dinner and church stuff and work. Sometimes, there’s just an emptiness that looms and lingers in the midst of the craziness of life.

Well, even though I might feel that, and you might feel that, God is still present. He’s present—not far, near, closer than we can know—and He’s revealed Himself to us in the person of Jesus. Remember Christ in those empty moments, and know that He emptied Himself so that we could be filled with the love of God. He made Himself nothing so we could have everything.

I’m Shelby Abbott, and you’ve been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson with Nana Dolce on FamilyLife Today. If you enjoyed the conversation that you heard today, or you heard the one from the last couple of days and, maybe, you want to learn a little bit more about God’s loving control over all things, you can get this content with Nana Dolce in a unique and special format.

You can sign up for a special email series, which is a four-week video series, with Nana Dolce. All you have to do is head over to FamilyLifeToday.com, and you can find it in our show notes. Just sign up there, and we’ll get you all set up.

And stay tuned for Day Four with Nana Dolce and our series with her coming up tomorrow. Just make sure to go back and listen to any past episodes with Nana Dolce if you loved our time with her today or the last couple of days. She’s been on before, talking about The Seed of the Woman. You can find it in the show notes section on FamilyLifeToday.com.

And Nana has written a book called The Seed of the Woman: 30 Narratives that Point to Jesus. This book is going to be our gift to you when you give to FamilyLife Today. You can get your copy right now, with any donation that you make. by going online to FamilyLifeToday.com and clicking on the “Donate Now” button at the top of the page.

Or just give us a call with your donation at 800-358-6329; again, that number is 800-“F” as in family, “L” as in life, and then the word, “TODAY.” Or feel free to drop your donation in the mail to us if you’d like. Our address is: FamilyLife, 100 Lake Hart Drive, Orlando, Florida 32832.

Now, Nana Dolce is back again tomorrow with Dave and Ann Wilson to discuss themes of redemption and breaking generational curses. That’s coming up tomorrow. We hope you’ll join us.

On behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I’m Shelby Abbott. We will see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today.

FamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife^®, a Cru^® Ministry.

Helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.

We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you’ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs?

Copyright ^© 2024 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.

1